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COVIDeo Games: If Lockdown Was Reimagined as Retro Video Games
January 7, 2021Lockdown has been quite the experience, one that won’t easily be forgotten. We were all urged to stay at home and close the door. With little to do for entertainment, many turned to retro video games. Sales saw record peaks as boredom levels increased. The nostalgia was comforting for many, play was somewhat engaging and even became a social outlet for many in times where social interaction was extremely sparse.
This got us thinking, what if these retro games were ‘rebranded’ to represent lockdown? We took a tongue-in-cheek look at recreating lockdown in video games and we hope it helps to lift your spirits!
Personal Space Invaders
(Space Invaders, Taito, First Release 1978)
During lockdown we were urged to keep our distance from…well…everyone. Hands, face, space. It’s easy enough to understand right? Except for those few people who completely neglected to respect our personal space.
We’ve all experienced it. That random lady in the supermarket who just can’t wait her turn to get to the flour. You flinch as she squeezes past you with uncomfortable closeness. That’s certainly not 2m! Or that over-friendly stranger out on a daily exercise walk who hasn’t spoken to a real person in days. He edges steadily nearer during every moment of your unnecessarily long conversation, whilst you’re politely trying to casually back away…
Enjoy playing personal space invaders and get your own back!
(Toilet) Paperboy
(Paperboy, Atari, First Release 1985)
The lockdown (toilet) paper boy. Delivering that all important loo roll that you just couldn’t find on the supermarket shelves in record time! It doesn’t matter that he’s smashed your rainbow-filled window in the process, toilet roll is such a valuable commodity. You were ready for a bit of home improvement anyway.
Go toilet paperboy, go!
ZooM
(DooM, ZeniMax Media, First Release 1993)
As we know, human contact was limited in 2020 (and still is in 2021!), and Zoom entered as our saviour. Want to chat with your friends? Lets Zoom. Work meeting? I’ll set up a Zoom. Need to teach a class? How about Zoom. Chatting with extended family, parents, grandparents…another Zoom?
Patience quickly dropped to 10% or below as Mike from accounting rambled on. We lost interest when Mum couldn’t work out how to unmute herself. Ok, there might have been a few laughs when someone from the office thought they had their screen turned off. But after the zillionth Zoom that day, we’d rather spend the evening drinking wine and watching Tiger King. Zoom quickly turned to Doom because we had no excuse not to do it. Actually, I’m not available to Zoom tonight. I’m….washing my hands?
Please. Not. Another. Zoom.
Cooking (teaching, working, and cleaning) Mama
(Cooking Mama, Taito, First Release 2006)
Parenting is a pretty demanding job. But lockdown took things to another level. Cooking Mama? Yep, I’m cooking 3 meals a day, every day, for everyone because no one ever goes out. Cleaning Mama? Yep, not as fast as you’re making a mess because nobody ever goes out. Teaching Mama? Yep…homeschooling too… Working Mama? Sure, I’m trying to hold down my job from home whilst being climbed on, shouted at, getting covered in paint and play-doh, endless requests for Peppa Pig and snacks and she did this and he did that…
Mama? Mama? Mama? Mama? Mama? MAMAAAAAAAAAAA? *hides*
Gin Mama? I’ll take the bottle.
President Evil
(Resident Evil, Capcom, First Release 1996)
We needed some guiding lights to see us safely through this pandemic. What did we get? I’ll just leave this here.
Testris
(Tetris, Nintendo, First Release 1984)
Here in the UK, we played a long game of ‘Testris’ throughout 2020 and into 2021. Nobody could get one. Then eventually they could. But they were still too limited and too slow. The government promised 100,000 a day. They missed their interim target of just 25,000 tests a day. But eventually they had a bit more success at playing Testris. The pieces fell into place and they even launched mass rapid testing of whole cities.
We got tested. We put swabs up our nose. We self-isolated. We waited for results. We have to be honest, Testris wasn’t our favourite lockdown game.
Pa(ni)c-Man
(Pac-Man, Namco, First Release 1980)
He rushes around the maze of the supermarket aisles. He’s panic buying, stockpiling, trying to provide for his family as the threat of lockdown looms. He’s nimbly dodging the threat of COVID, swerving around the threats of potentially contaminated members of the public. Wearing his HAZMAT suit. Keeping contact to an absolute minimum.
Jars and cans and freezer stuff and packet food. Long life milk, flour, pasta, paracetamol, calpol, hand sanitiser, disinfectant. Crazily searching for the longest use by dates as fast as possible. Nappies? We might have another baby one day. I’ll take 10. Toilet rolls? Absolutely, I’ve brought a van. This lot will keep until 2050. We WILL survive the apocalypse.
Microsoft Life Simulator
(Microsoft Flight Simulator, Microsoft, First Release 1982)
Need we say more? We can’t live it, so let’s stay at home and simulate…well…life. Is this what we have become?
Brought to you by Express Doors Direct.
